You are now a father. And that’s official.
Pondering on what matters most in life
You are now a father. And that’s official.
We had a big dog named Boojie. It was my father’s personal pet, companion, protector and friend, when he was still in the Army. It was also trained to protect us: me, my mom, and my baby sister.
But when we had to travel, we also had to leave the dog alone.
As promised, I am now reblogging this post of yours…
But first, let me say something. I chose this particular post of yours because I love the concept you are sharing here.
Finally, the last day in my 3-day quote challenge has come! But certainly NOT my last “thanks!” to Kranti who dragged me into this — first time — wonderful experience! I just love this!
Sometimes it takes the worst to bring out the best in you.
When bad things happen to us, we tend to forget the good ones.
This quote reminds me that the worst is not the end of life, sometimes, it is the gateway to something great. Remember after the storm, comes the warmth of the sun. At the end of the tunnel, lies the light.
If we are a learner, no matter what happens to us, we always learn from it. And normally, the worse the scenario, the greater the learning. Now, imagine the worst. Sure enough, if we learn from it, the result would be our greatest learning. It is that learning that brings the best in us.
Now, let me summarize by connecting the three quotes:
With that, I again give my thanks to Kranti for taking me to this wonderful 3-day journey!
Again, I give my thanks to Kranti for this opportunity to participated in a 3-day challenge.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
I love the sense of hope this quote gives me.
It was during my high school years when I visited my auntie in her church that I first encountered this quote. I saw a big photo frame on a wall of the lobby of the parsonage. There was a hand holding at the end of a rope. It gave me a mental image that because the rope had a knot on its end, the hand that was holding it wasn’t sliding downward. It just kept on hanging for as long as the fingers were locked. At least that was the imagination triggered in me by that photo at the wall.
There are four things that I’m reminded whenever I read this quote:
They said that men can survive 40 days without food; 4 days without water; 4 minutes without oxygen; but only 4 seconds without hope. That’s how important hope is.
Difficulty is part of life. There are times when we feel that everything else fails and that We’ve done everything we could, every solution possible. Yet still, nothing seems to work anymore. We feel tired, frustrated, and hopeless. But let’s not give up. Not yet. Let’s just make a little more effort of picking up on something dear to us, something we can hold on to — like a knot at the end of a rope — and hope for a miracle.
Because I was taken by surprise, let me just follow my nominator’s path on my first day. My quote will also be about life being precious.
Thank you Kranti for this sweet friendly challenge! I appreciate it a lot!
You never lose your worth. No matter what life throws at you.
One day, a young lady came to me crying. She said,
She humiliated me in front of my classmates, throwing baseless accusations after accusations. Now, I’m losing respect in myself.
It happened about seven years ago while I was still working in a state-owned academy. The young lady was a second year college student then. She was talking about her lady professor. This professor was one of those who have completed two Master Degrees and a PHD, and a numerous high-profile trainings. So by looking at her credentials, she is supposed to be a highly respectable person. But people — just like this young lady student who came to me, weeping in shame, anger, and emotional pain — in the academy believed or experienced the exact opposite of respect.
I said to her, after listening intensely to some details of her story. Then, she followed me as I walked out of my office toward an open space just outside the building.
When we reached a shaded place, I pulled out my wallet, took a 100 peso bill, and asked her..
If I gave this P100 bill to anybody, do you think, they will accept it?
Yes sir, of course! No one will reject it!” replied the young lady.
Then I crumpled it with my right hand in front of her, and asked a follow-up question.
How about now that it’s crumpled? Will people still accept it?
Yes sir. Of course, they will.
This time, I threw the P100 bill on the ground then stepped on it with my shoes, as if grinding it with force. Then asked another question, after picking it from the ground…
Now that its totally crumpled and dirty in your eyes, do you still believe people will accept it?
Of course sir. It is still P100.
That’s it! That’s exactly it! I exclaimed.
She looked at me with confused eyes, still with some tears welling up. Then I smiled at her, and told her slowly, with a soft reassuring voice.
“You are precious. Just like this bill, your value won’t change just because they crumpled you in the outside. You are still the same you — charming, always smiling, happy student.”
“Actually,” I followed through, “it is yourresponse to those kind of experiences, that will determine your worth. To cry for such a painful experience is okay. That’s part of a normal person with normal emotions. You have already cried. That’s good. Now it’s time to get up. I am reminding you of your worth. And I hope that you will go back to your lady professor with a stronger heart, knowing that no matter what she throws at you, your value as a person doesn’t change. You are still precious.”
She burst into more tears after I said those words.
Not knowing what to do, I just stood there, watching her as she cried, silently praying that my words would at least give her inner strength.
After a minute or two, she rose her head, looked at me with a sweet smile, as she was wiping all the tears in her face… and said,
Thank you very much sir. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I smiled back at her with a relieved heart.
Then she followed-up with a rather unexpected request…
Sir, can I have this bill as a souvenir?
Well, that’s it. That’s my quote, with a short personal story.
I was still in high school when I encountered a story similar to that. Decades later, I was in the position to relive that story, with me as one of the characters — the one who was giving the strength to a damaged person. I’m glad I was given a chance to share the experience to that young lady student.
When she graduated from the academy, years later, she came back to me, and thanked me again for that P100 bill encounter. Maybe she still has my money now. Maybe she doesn’t anymore. It doesn’t matter. What important is that she remembered how precious she was — and stayed that way.
Again, thank you Kranti for this opportunity.
My last letter to you was about fatherhood’s two faces: responsibility and opportunity to grow. I told you that responsibility is about the ability to respond to what’s expected of you. And then you asked me how in the world are you going to meet the super high, unbelievable, and most of the time, unreasonable expectations of people around you who claim to be your family but actually don’t care for you and Hannah, and your incoming baby.
Well, my quick answer is a resounding NO! You don’t have to meet their unreasonable uncaring expectations at all. But that would be another topic to discuss. Just ignore them for now.
What I was talking about was God’s expectations from all fathers. Now that you are going to be a father, you need to be aware of these things. Because after reading this letter, you will jump from theory to practice.
Father’s have many responsibilities. We will not talk about all of them; instead, we’ll focus on just four basic duties expected of a father.
There are many more responsibilities waitng for you as a father. We haven’t talked yet about discipline and specific instructions and training, and about how to treat your wife. We’ll get there later. For now, I want you to begin thinking about these four basic expectations you need to meet. If you have noticed, I began from the easiest (protection) part, to the most difficult one (belief foundation) to make it easier for you to apply them. The last two responsibilites are just an expansion of the “heart” and “spirit” issues in both the protection and provision responsibilities.
I pray that you find this helpful. May God bless you and comfort you, and give you streght as you put these teaching into specific observable actions.
I love you always son!
Have a great day today!
Last time, we talked about being intentional in your every move — knowing that the baby in your womb has already started picking up and responding to most activities you take. And that by being intentional, you are showing your care to him deliberately, instead of just relying on the automatic systems of your body. I also promised you that on my next letter, we’d talk about why doing creative activities will prepare you better for the future of your mother-child caring interactions.
So, let’s jump forward to that near future…
When David comes out — 9 weeks from now — he will begin his journey to discovery and growth. He will do it in stages. Every stage is different. As his mother, you will join him in this journey, one step at a time. As he learns new things, you will learn with him. As he grows, so are you.
Here are the first three stages of his life.
Have you noticed? David will make significant changes every three months. So your approach in caring for him will also change. And in order for you to cope up with that constant change is to be creative in many things. If you are fixed with your first learnings, and not become flexible in changing your style, you will easily get frustrated.
Here are some specifics:
These are just a few examples to give you a glimpse of what’s going to happen in your journey together. It’s going to be fun or frustrating — depending on whether you are creatively prepared or not. I’m telling you this because I have observed a lot of first-time mothers who were extremely frustrated because they never anticipated all these small things when they were still pregnant. They forgot to prepare, they thought everything will be automatic. They were not deliberate on their care. So they paid the price. But what is worse, is that their baby paid an even higher price.
I don’t want that to happen to you and David. And I’m sure you don’t want it to happen too. So practice your creative mind now while you’re still pregnant. When you practice doing creative things now, even if it’s not yet related to the baby, your mind will be equipped in using creativity to solve problems. And when your little one arrives, your creativity will help both of you.
As your baby journeys to discover life, you will discover a lot of things too — things about yourself, about Jonathan, about your little baby himself. And of course about life in general. But believe me, with a prepared mind and a ready heart, this journey will be the most exciting and fulfilling journey of all.
Til next time my dear daughter…
God bless you always!
Kisses to my grandson-to-be,
This act is another act of kindness.
Thank you Danny for this opportunity!
God bless you always!
As most of my followers know I am big into helping other bloggers gain more exposure. My goal has been to grow a community of like-minded people and I am part way to my goal. I am bringing back the open call to leave a link and I’ll share it for you!!
The basic rules are simple: leave me a link to your page. I’m not sure it gets much simpler. You can leave as many links as you want and I’ll cycle this post from day-to-day so more people can jump on board. The link post I’ll create will publish on Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays.
How are you? How’s my father-to-be son? How’s the excitement? How are you preparing for your new role?
Yes, you’re going to have an additional role in your life — a role that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Are you ready for the change? You can be. You must be. This role is a very important role. In fact, it is the most important role that you will ever have in your life. Try to stop reading for awhile, and think about what I just said. Can you imagine the implications of being a father — its implications in your own life, in Hannah’s life, in your incoming son’s life, in your mom and your brothers, in me, in your grandma, your aunts and uncles, in your community? Just pause and think about it for a minute. What does it imply, to be a father?
So, what pictures did your mind see?
Maybe you have seen a lot of beautiful images in your inner eyes. That’s great! Now, let us talk about just two of those images: Responsibility and Opportunity
Being a father is a great responsibility; you already know that. It is not just a title, or a name tag we use to call those men who have made some women pregnant. When you become a father, there are things that will be expected of you. And there are things that you will be accountable for.
What does it mean by being responsible?
Stephen Covey simplified the word by dividing it into its parts: response-able. Meaning, a responsible person is someone who is able to respond appropriately. But to respond to what? To what is expected of you. Different responsibilities have different expectations to fulfill. If you’re an engineer in charge of maintaining the smooth operation of a certain machine, you are expected to respond to circumstances that will affect the smooth operation of the machine. Now, if you are a father, you are expected to respond to some situations that arise in raising a child.
Being a father is a great opportunity too. That, you may not know yet. It is a great opportunity to grow as a person, as a husband, as a son, as responsible citizen. It is an opportunity to gain wisdom. If you are open to learning, and positive change, being a father is a great hands-on, live, actual practice. Being a father is an opportunity to become stronger in your four dimensions: body, mind, heart, and spirit. It is also an opportunity to leave a legacy — something positive that will remain in this world after you’re gone.
Now, these two gifts to all fathers —responsibility and opportunity— have distinct characteristics: responsibility is like a COMMAND. You cannot ignore it without painful consequences. Opportunity, on the other hand, is an OPTION. It’s up to you if you want to discover a fulfilling life, grow to your maximum potential, and leave a positive legacy behind; or just go with the flow of meaninglessness like a dead fish in a river and live a mediocre life.
Now, I hope you ponder more on this insights. It will help you establish a meaningful way of understanding your incoming new role. It will be your foundation. In my next letter, I will talk about a more concrete matters, specifically, about the responsibilities of a father.
Thank you for your time. Take care of yourself, take care of Hannah… and of course of the baby inside her belly.
God bless you all!