30th Week: Be Intentional

Dear Hanna,

Have a great day! Today is Day 1 of David’s 30th week. He must be very busy now inside your belly, as he prepares himself for the big day. He must be far bigger now than last week. And you feel like your belly is going to explode, especially after you eat. I think that will continue for the next 10 weeks, until he comes out.

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Remember, as your baby is rearranging your life, he is also busy rearranging your belly inside — pressing your diaphragm and compressing your digestive organs. After all, your belly is his boarding house right now. That’s a nine-month contract, and you cannot bridge it without consequence. Don’t worry, when he comes out, your belly will be yours again.

img_3603In my previous letter to you, I mentioned that David was busy in multiple projects. He was working on his brain, muscles, bones, skin, digestive system, and others. That’s why he needed more space 🤣 Now he has a bigger brain, and is smarter. So be more careful, he is learning faster now too — and he’s learning from you. Are you playing the right music for him everyday? Please do. That will help develop his brain further. Are you reading books aloud? You may try it too. Are you painting, playing violin, writing, growing small indoor plants, or singing? Whatever you do, choose a creative activity. I’ll tell you in my next letter why.

Two weeks ago he was just converting his cartilages into bones; now he is manufacturing his own red blood cells with his bone marrow. His body is gearing up to be more independent in surviving life. Before he comes out, he is already a complete human being, just like you, Jonathan, and me. Just like us.

By the way, have you started counting his moves? I think you should. That’s a great way to monitor his activities, and to exercise your ability to anticipate. Find the pattern. David is now having a pattern of wake-and-sleep. And when he’s awake, observe what makes him move. Maybe it’s music, or his dad’s voice, or the presence of Prince beside you. Or maybe a certain food you eat. It is good to know. Not for knowledge’s sake, but for building the bond that will forever bind you two together.

Some mothers were not able to create a strong magical bond between them and their child maybe because they failed to connect with their child in a more intentional way during pregnancy. Be intentional in your care for him. Don’t be automatic.

When David was consuming the calcium in your body to make his own bones, that’s automatic; when you transfer the nutrients of your body to his, that’s automatic; When your body begins producing breast milk for the baby, that too is automatic. That’s not the kind of care we’re talking about here my dear daughter.

Instead, we’re talking about those proactive activities that when you ignore, won’t result to any instant problem — activities like, reading books, listening to classical music, doing some physical exercises, exercising your creativity, painting, writing a journal or articles, playing violin, talking with the baby while touching your belly, and many other you can think about. These are easy to ignore. And sometimes may also be inconvenient to do.

So many mothers ignore them. They are not proactive. And I believe those mothers who are not intentional in caring for their baby are the ones who don’t establish that magical bond between mother and child. They are the ones whose love to their children are purely based on blood, nothing else.

Some mothers sell their babies because they desperately need money. Some, just abandon their babies so they can go back to their “single” life, while some give their child for adoption. Others raise their children but hate them as if they are not hers. I believe, if you develop that magical bond during pregnancy, no matter what happens, you will not let your baby be separated from you.

My Post-2I just don’t want you to be like those other mothers out there who have no bond of love between them and their child. That’s why I’m encouraging you to be intentional in caring for David. Don’t be like robots who just act without intention. Be a mother — a caring one. In the daily activities that you choose, remind yourself that your intention is to reach David out, and establish that magical bond between you and him, and talk to him always as if he is responding to you… because he is.

 

Your loving father,

Nhoi

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