Two Images of Fatherhood

Dear son,

How are you? How’s my father-to-be son? How’s the excitement? How are you preparing for your new role?

Yes, you’re going to have an additional role in your life — a role that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Are you ready for the change? You can be. You must be. This role is a very important role. In fact, it is the most important role that you will ever have in your life. Try to stop reading for awhile, and think about what I just said. Can you imagine the implications of being a father — its implications in your own life, in Hannah’s life, in your incoming son’s life, in your mom and your brothers, in me, in your grandma, your aunts and uncles, in your community? Just pause and think about it for a minute. What does it imply, to be a father?

So, what pictures did your mind see?

Maybe you have seen a lot of beautiful images in your inner eyes. That’s great! Now, let us talk about just two of those images: Responsibility and Opportunity

Fatherhood

Being a father is a great responsibility; you already know that. It is not just a title, or a name tag we use to call those men who have made some women pregnant. When you become a father, there are things that will be expected of you. And there are things that you will be accountable for.

What does it mean by being responsible?

Stephen Covey simplified the word by dividing it into its parts: response-able. Meaning, a responsible person is someone who is able to respond appropriately. But to respond to what? To what is expected of you. Different responsibilities have different expectations to fulfill. If you’re an engineer in charge of maintaining the smooth operation of a certain machine, you are expected to respond to circumstances that will affect the smooth operation of the machine. Now, if you are a father, you are expected to respond to some situations that arise in raising a child.

Being a father is a great opportunity too. That, you may not know yet. It is a great opportunity to grow as a person, as a husband, as a son, as responsible citizen. It is an opportunity to gain wisdom. If you are open to learning, and positive change, being a father is a great hands-on, live, actual practice. Being a father is an opportunity to become stronger in your four dimensions: body, mind, heart, and spirit. It is also an opportunity to leave a legacy — something positive that will remain in this world after you’re gone.

Now, these two gifts to all fathers —responsibility and opportunity— have distinct characteristics: responsibility is like a COMMAND. You cannot ignore it without painful consequences. Opportunity, on the other hand, is an OPTION. It’s up to you if you want to discover a fulfilling life, grow to your maximum potential, and leave a positive legacy behind; or just go with the flow of meaninglessness like a dead fish in a river and live a mediocre life.

Now, I hope you ponder more on this insights. It will help you establish a meaningful way of understanding your incoming new role. It will be your foundation. In my next letter, I will talk about a more concrete matters, specifically, about the responsibilities of a father.

Thank you for your time. Take care of yourself, take care of Hannah… and of course of the baby inside her belly.

God bless you all!

Pa

30th Week: Be Intentional

Dear Hanna,

Have a great day! Today is Day 1 of David’s 30th week. He must be very busy now inside your belly, as he prepares himself for the big day. He must be far bigger now than last week. And you feel like your belly is going to explode, especially after you eat. I think that will continue for the next 10 weeks, until he comes out.

pexels-photo-57529.jpeg

Remember, as your baby is rearranging your life, he is also busy rearranging your belly inside — pressing your diaphragm and compressing your digestive organs. After all, your belly is his boarding house right now. That’s a nine-month contract, and you cannot bridge it without consequence. Don’t worry, when he comes out, your belly will be yours again.

img_3603In my previous letter to you, I mentioned that David was busy in multiple projects. He was working on his brain, muscles, bones, skin, digestive system, and others. That’s why he needed more space 🤣 Now he has a bigger brain, and is smarter. So be more careful, he is learning faster now too — and he’s learning from you. Are you playing the right music for him everyday? Please do. That will help develop his brain further. Are you reading books aloud? You may try it too. Are you painting, playing violin, writing, growing small indoor plants, or singing? Whatever you do, choose a creative activity. I’ll tell you in my next letter why.

Two weeks ago he was just converting his cartilages into bones; now he is manufacturing his own red blood cells with his bone marrow. His body is gearing up to be more independent in surviving life. Before he comes out, he is already a complete human being, just like you, Jonathan, and me. Just like us.

By the way, have you started counting his moves? I think you should. That’s a great way to monitor his activities, and to exercise your ability to anticipate. Find the pattern. David is now having a pattern of wake-and-sleep. And when he’s awake, observe what makes him move. Maybe it’s music, or his dad’s voice, or the presence of Prince beside you. Or maybe a certain food you eat. It is good to know. Not for knowledge’s sake, but for building the bond that will forever bind you two together.

Some mothers were not able to create a strong magical bond between them and their child maybe because they failed to connect with their child in a more intentional way during pregnancy. Be intentional in your care for him. Don’t be automatic.

When David was consuming the calcium in your body to make his own bones, that’s automatic; when you transfer the nutrients of your body to his, that’s automatic; When your body begins producing breast milk for the baby, that too is automatic. That’s not the kind of care we’re talking about here my dear daughter.

Instead, we’re talking about those proactive activities that when you ignore, won’t result to any instant problem — activities like, reading books, listening to classical music, doing some physical exercises, exercising your creativity, painting, writing a journal or articles, playing violin, talking with the baby while touching your belly, and many other you can think about. These are easy to ignore. And sometimes may also be inconvenient to do.

So many mothers ignore them. They are not proactive. And I believe those mothers who are not intentional in caring for their baby are the ones who don’t establish that magical bond between mother and child. They are the ones whose love to their children are purely based on blood, nothing else.

Some mothers sell their babies because they desperately need money. Some, just abandon their babies so they can go back to their “single” life, while some give their child for adoption. Others raise their children but hate them as if they are not hers. I believe, if you develop that magical bond during pregnancy, no matter what happens, you will not let your baby be separated from you.

My Post-2I just don’t want you to be like those other mothers out there who have no bond of love between them and their child. That’s why I’m encouraging you to be intentional in caring for David. Don’t be like robots who just act without intention. Be a mother — a caring one. In the daily activities that you choose, remind yourself that your intention is to reach David out, and establish that magical bond between you and him, and talk to him always as if he is responding to you… because he is.

 

Your loving father,

Nhoi

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Meet and Greet: 3/17/18 — Dream Big, Dream Often

It’s the Meet and Greet weekend everyone!! Strap on your party shoes and join the fun! Ok so here are the rules: Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post. Reblog this post. It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone! Edit your reblog post and […]

via Meet and Greet: 3/17/18 — Dream Big, Dream Often

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Prince

Hello Yen,

I just like to thank you for inspiring me to grab my brush again, dip it in watercolor, and gently make a few strokes on a paper. Your post about your first attempt to paint with watercolor inspired the sleeping creativity in me.

Did you know that the last time I painted with watercolor was ten years ago? That’s a very long time. But recently, your snail-looking-seashell 😅 awaken that dormant talent in me. Just kidding! It doesnt look like a snail to me.

So I like to thank you for the inspiration! You see, you do not know who and how you inspire others, but you do. We don’t need to be super famous to inspire; we just need to align ourselves with the talents God has given us, and celeberate it by using it.

This “Thank you!” icon is for you ma’am!

My Post

Because this puppy husky is my daugther’s best friend, I can’t give it to you; just the photo of its painting. 😁 By the way, the puppy’s name is Prince.

Again, thank you very much Yen! May God bless you as you inspire more people!

 

Friendly blogger,

Nholie

 

Note:

For those of you who’d like to know who Yen is, this is her blog…

Yen’s Creative Cornerhttps://yenscreativecorner.wordpress.com

Welcome!

01 March 2018

Dear Readers and Writers,

Hello there!

We do not know each other. Not yet. But someday we will get acquainted, then perhaps some of you will become my friends.

I am not an accomplished writer yet. But one day — about two years from now — I will publish my own book. And with your help and through this platform, I will be able to reach that goal.

This blog will be my digital learning notebook, where I will practice how to write contents that will give value to you, and to us all as a writing community. Your objective comments will be my guide in improving my writings. Your encouragements will be of great help.

I will be a friend to you too… giving you my honest and objective feedbacks as well as my encouragements.

Through this metamorphosis — from a non-writer to a published author — I will treat this blog as my virtual cocoon. I may struggle. I may wriggle in discomfort. But these challenges are part of growing better. Please bear with me.

So again, welcome to my world! Feel free to comment. You will see me too in your own blogs for I will be visiting you from time to time.

Let’s be friends!

Happy writing!

Yours,

Nholie